I’ve been noticing how often writers and speakers are sloppy with the word “if.” The example I caught myself typing this week: “If you need directions, my phone number is x3844.” How silly. My extension is 3844 whether or not you need directions. If you need directions, you can call x3844.
Another example: “I’ll be free around 7 o’clock if you want to meet for dinner.” Instead: “I’ll be free around 7 o’clock; let me know if you want to meet for dinner.” I think we sometimes use this construction instead of asking a direct question.
And then: “If you have any questions, I’ll be right here.” But if you don’t have any questions, I’ll be playing baccarat with an Italian countess in the breakroom.