Bad opening sentences are enthusiastically welcomed at the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Thousands of original entries vie for the title of ‘worst’ in a number of categories. The 2012 deadline is June 30. Details and last year’s winners can be found at Bulwer-Lytton.com
Selecting a favorite from the 2011 winners is difficult. I offer you the Adventure category winner: From the limbs of ancient live oaks moccasins hung like fat black sausages – which are sometimes called boudin noir, black pudding or blood pudding, though why anyone would refer to a sausage as pudding is hard to understand and it is even more difficult to divine why a person would knowingly eat something made from dried blood in the first place – but be that as it may, our tale is of voodoo and foul murder, not disgusting food. — Jack Barry, Shelby, NC
And, the 2011 grand prize winner: Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories. — Sue Fondrie, Oshkosh, WI